Adios, El Salvador (a conclusion of my time in ES)

My apologies (to the many who have pointed it out) for not really concluding this blog...towards the last month of my semester there seemed to be so much to take in that I never got a chance to put it into writing.

I spent the majority of my last month getting very close to many of the Salvadoran scholarship students who had accompanied us through a lot of our journey (but up until that time I had been a bit shy around...its contageous!) My Salvadoran thanksgiving was comical-with 200 people gathered together (about 50-60 Americans, the rest Salvadorans-rather confused, but more than happy to join in the feast) at beautiful out door tables by candlelight--I felt more grateful than I ever have. Missing my family as I piled my plate with my greatly missed all-American favorite foods, I couldn't help but laugh at the massive basket of about 300 tortillas that sat at the end of the table (I shouldnt have been surprised...)

In some of my last days at praxis in Mariona, I realized that although at one point four months seemed like it would be an eternity, it was not nearly enough time with the three amazing families who welcomed me into their lives. The kids in my english class were ecstatic when I recorded us singing all of our all-time favorite english songs together (everything from the alphabet, head-shoulders-knees-and toes, to "if you're happy and you know it") burned it onto a CD to play in class, and promptly told them they were famous-but they'd better use it to keep singing without me. (Yes, I do listen to their adorable voices on my itunes singing "hedd-show-das-neez-an-towzzz" and tear up from time to time...what can I say, I'm still just as sentimental)

I wrote papers in a frenzy and stayed up late painting gifts to leave behind with my families, and watched "UP" in Spanish with my Salvadoran friends--secretly wishing I could take them all home with me in my pocket. (they are almost a pocket-sized people after all)

In our last week we had three "despedidas" (goodbye parties) one with my Mariona family (complete with pinatas, cake, overly excited children, and my singing-as requested) a large mass with all of the praxis communities (my first time as an untrained bilingual eucharistic minister) and a pool party with the scholarship students in which I sang a duet in spanish with one of my good friends, Tomas (rather comical).

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?ref=profile&id=639350128#/video/video.php?v=253426180128&subj=639350128 (see my video on facebook: "Sin Miedo a Nada")

The goodbyes were even harder than I had imagined, but I was happy to be heading home to my fabulous family and friends for Christmas. I thought back to two years ago when I read the Casa pamphlet that said "come, let your heart be broken" and realized what they meant-

that now no matter what country I was in, I would be missing my family somewhere else.

While saying goodbye to my many Salvadoran mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers, even my much improved Spanish was incapable of expressing my gratitude. I hoped that my tearful smile, my song, my millionth hug, would somehow let them know how much they had shared with me. I cringe a bit now to use or hear the word "service" in relation to my part in this experience--for as much as each of them thanked me for my presence, for what I shared, what I truly walked away with was an understanding of receiving, the gift witnessing and experiencing what it means to be in relationship, in solidarity with others. The Salvadoran people have shown me the beauty of unshakable faith, the compassion that is borne of great suffering, and a limitless love that often left me (and still leaves me) without words.

I am so grateful, and so very blessed.

all i can really say is, in the ever-repeated words of the Salvadoran people:

"Gracias a Dios" (Thanks be to God)

(my families waving goodbye to my bus window on the last day of praxis)

P.S. Thanks to everyone who read, and who sent me love and support (either in words or thoughts) from afar, I felt it strongly, and was thankful for it every day. That spirit was with me in every beautiful and challenging moment.

p.p.s--for those interested:

A previous CASA student is currently working in ES and creating podcasts about the issues in the country for NPR local in Milwaukee. I did an English voice-over for his interview with a Salvadoran woman who was a victim of the flooding that took place in ES during my semester. It is a profound representation of what I tried to explain in my earlier blog (clearly it is much better said in the words of people who experienced it)
http://www.wuwm.com/programs/lake_effect/view_le.php?articleid=870

Click on the link "Audio postcard: Post-Ida Rebuilding in El Salvador"

(i'm the voice of the third interview, about her flooded home, and later-her child's shoes)

con paz, amor y solidaridad,

Maurita